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Allocated gold accounts

I joked some months ago about requiring the following warning on all bank accounts:

WARNING: THE MONEY YOU PUT INTO THIS ACCOUNT MAY BE SWEPT UP AND TAKEN BY THE BANK AT ANY TIME TO LOAN OUT TO ANYONE IT WANTS. ACCORDINGLY IF THE BANK GOES BUST ANY MONEY IN THIS ACCOUNT WILL MOST LIKELY BE LOST FOREVER. HOPEFULLY THE PATHETIC INTEREST EARNED ON THIS ACCOUNT WILL COMPENSATE YOU FOR THIS INHERENT RISK. BUT IF IT DOESN’T AND YOU END UP A SUCKER IT WILL BE YOUR STUPID FAULT. ALTERNATIVELY YOU CAN KEEP THE MONEY IN HARD ASSETS (GOLD, SILVER) OR KEEP IT IN YOUR FREEZER UNDER THE PEAS. CALL THE TOLL FREE FDIC NUMBER LISTED BELOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. WE’VE SUB-CONTRACTED THIS PROBLEM TO THEM. HOPEFULLY THEY CAN DEAL WITH YOUR CRYING. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CALL US ABOUT THIS ISSUE.

ALTERNATIVELY CALL GEORGE SELGIN. HE WILL TELL YOU HOW MUCH OF A “MORON” YOU WERE TO TRUST US WITH YOUR MONEY. IF YOU BELIEVE THIS ACCOUNT IS THE FUNCTIONAL EQUIVALENT OF AN ALLOCATED/SEGREGATED GOLD ACCOUNT YOU ARE AN IDIOT. GUESS WHAT – SOMETIMES WE EVEN TAKE THE MONEY OUT OF THOSE ACCOUNTS. HA HA HA!

This is no longer a joke.

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